Friday, December 7, 2007

the FUNCTIONAL IDIOTS- in pursuit of toast demo (1988)

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1.functional idiot whom it may concern
3.dead fish
4.status strain
5.big birds dead
6.heavy flow
7.stick with grandma
8.???? wide destruction
10.he's dead Jim
11.I hate cats
12.cruel trend

The Functional Idiots were a hated band from NYC, and recorded this amazing demo at Chung Kings house of metal in the late 80's. One of the members went on to do artwork for M.O.D. These guys were doing the exact opposite of the NYC trend of the time. Insted of playing straightedge hardcore with songs about unity, these guys were writing hardcore songs about drinking beer, and killing their mothers. Some silly lyrics done Murphys Law, or Gilligans Revenge style. This stuff is fast, with some great breakdown mosh parts and quirky rock solos (ala Suicidal Tendencies). Another overlooked NY hardcore band that would have had a fanbase if they'd been straightedge and baldheaded. I got this demo from My buddy Jim from Affirmative Action(and Devoid Of Faith) as AA played tons of gigs with these guys through out the 80's in the NY area.
I left a few songs off the demo, as I couldn't figure out the order, and it was getting frustrating as hell. The songs on the tape didn't match up with the song titles on the cover....Enjoy

Share functional idiots - 40 MB


  1. i used see these guys play at the sundance on longisland.another blast from the past.thanks for posting this.awesome blog.

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  3. sorry my friend... I can't really do that. its difficult enough put the blog together. You need to work on geting off of dial tone and start using cable modem. I know it all sucks, because of the Economy and tech issues many thrird world countries have. Hopefuly things will change, and we'll all be using the similar services. sorry again. I hope you still enjoy looking at them

  4. Oh God, the memories from this rip. Thanks for posting this, I'd completely forgotten how awesome Stick With Grandma was. :)

  5. seems like 2 tracks are missing...

  6. I can't believe you guys have a copy of that...
    What you've got is the cover of Pursuit of Toast and a copy of our first demo-that's why the tracks don't line up.
    I can send you a copy of Pursuit of Toast.

  7. Hey- I just saw a link to the Functional Idiots "Toast" tracks. That is actually our 2nd demo from 1988- our first, from 87 was much cruder. We did another in or around 96

    Thanks for posting our tunes to share with people.
    They can go to our myspace page and download some of these tracks and another one called Fag Metal, from a compilation called Dumb Rock Coalition- the Hollywood Tapes.

    If you send me self addressed stamped envelope with 2 cds, I can burn you our first demo, and later recording we did at Billy Milanos studio in Hoboken. Plus a couple bonus tracks. All original tracks plus a bonus cover we did of the song Pi Alpha Nu originally recorded by SOD about our fraternity.
    I am psyched to hear that we were hated- I just thought we were unknown. But to be hated is like being a "bad guy" wrestler! very fun for me!
    Happy happy Joy Joy,
    Ant (The Functional idiots)

  8. oh man, i CANNOT believe i finally found a digital copy of this...

    i was just talking about how i used to have a tape from FI...

    although this is the demo, i had another tape [red/pink in color?] that had some of these songs, but with a better recording. anyone know where i can find that?

  9. Oh crap! I totally forgot about these guys! A buddy of mine (a Pi Alpha Nu brother) turned me onto these guys in college. What happend to the song "He's Dead Jim"? Unfortunately I lost the copy of this tape that I had.
    for posting it!

  10. Too cool! I will always remember the Idiots. I went to see them with Murphy's Law (sold out show) at the Chance in Poughkeepsie in 1988. The band was selling tickets in the parking lot for $5 and you got a ticket for a drawing. Sure enough, they called my number and I was called onstage and singing with the band! they gave me a demo tape (which I still have) and a t-shirt (wish I still had). One of my favorite stories from my NYHC days.

  11. Wow - I still have this tape - been saving it for when the band got famous or experienced some random infamous event!

  12. I can't believe someone has posted these! One of my friends got a copy of the In Pursuit cassette and it became one of my favorites a la Dead Milkmen and others of the satirical genre. I found this after looking it up on a whim after telling one of my friends here in Florida about the Idiots. You guys are definitely memorable!

  13. grrreat one!!! thanx a lot for share ALL your stuff dude!!! un gran abrazo!!!

  14. They sure weren't hated in NY, not these guys, the majority of NYHC dudes were drug and alcohol induced nuts unlike militant-edge Boston and anally edged D.C. Everyone I knew liked them, but I never remember them playing out alot, unless all the way upstate NY if I remember correctly. I would have called them under the radar. Fun band! Thanks for this!

  15. Wow I can't believe people still remember us. We started up in New Paltz hence all the upstate shows.

    Ant has a website up for all the info on the band & music downloads.

    Who knows enough intrest we may even play another show or 2

  16. What a find! I met Doug Beans many moons ago when he was playing with Murphy's Law and he gave me this cassette. I played it until I wore it out. Awesome band! Sorry I never got to see you live!